I have always thought I was a little different from most of the people I knew, I never understood why they “didn’t get me”. When nervous, I ramble without direction, when excited I talk more than a school girl. When quiet I’m listening to the screaming noise of so many feelings and thoughts that do not belong to me.
I have searched for answers to my silly quirks. I have tried to soften my, not so subtle, bluntness. I have tried for years to fix me, though I’m not really sure why – I kind of like me.
I am who I am and although many don’t get it, some don’t believe it and most don’t know, I still am who I am. I have come to realize that I can feel many people’s emotions that are standing close to me. The smile they plaster on does not hide the disdain they feel in their inner core. Maybe it works for the rest of the world, but to me it’s just a mask to hide what they really feel.
All of the things many wish they knew how to share, all of the things some so desire to hide, those raw emotions just below the surface, the questions that tickles the brain – they are all screaming at me. I often feel your hurt, your anger, your hate, and your love. I sense when you lie, I feel your thoughts. I know the newly pregnant woman, the pain in an unhappy marriage, the magic of many years and real trust. I look into your eyes and know if you smile for the world, or if your soul is smiling.
It has taken a lot of years to be still enough to listen through the noise and find my own truths. As age has brought a touch of wisdom, an ounce of grace, and some life experience I have indeed found me. The good, the bad and the ugly.
Thus my journey continues forward, even amongst the noise and emotions of many.
The Wizard Rests…..