I have no idea what you are struggling with, my guess is life. I can assure you that no matter what your delima, you are not the first nor the last to trudge through this. I have seen and walked through some things that I was certain would kill me, cause my heart to explode from the pain, or land me in a mental ward – none of those things happened, maybe the last should have, but it didn’t.
I had no idea why I was struggling so much, and why I couldn’t get it right – eventually after a lot of trial, error, tears, cussing, cursing, swearing, raising kids alone, not raising kids alone, I have learned to love me – even with all of my faults – I just had to accept me- every day is not roses and champagne, but I’m happy. I have what and who I need in my life, I am blessed. When I truly learned to love me, others did the same.
Always know that no matter what it is – no matter what – others have walked before you to stomp down some of the weeds you will encounter along the way to ease your path a bit. Keep your eyes wide open, head held high, forever moving forward – to stop is to stagnant.
Only the movers and shakers finish the race, all others crumble beneath the stampede to become speed bumbs slowing the speed of the movers and shakers! You must be a mover and a shaker! We sometimes struggle and even feel defeat, it allows us to accept and appreciate all of our blessings,and the many things we take for granted.
Most importantly be kind to you….
To my children:
Once a mom always a mom. Some day I hope you understand – sigh… I love you – Always – I love you, no matter what is going on, no matter how mad we get, no matter how bad it seems, no matter what, I love you. Some things are harder than others, and some things are just too much fun, when it’s done, I love you. It’s ok if you don’t like me or what I say, it’s okay if you don’t like what I do or the rules I make, I still love you. I don’t expect you to know where I’m coming from or even why I do what I do, I love you anyway. I know you’re too busy, life is going to fast and there never seems to be enough time, I taught you that – I’m sorry,and yes, I still love you.
At the end of the day when you close your eyes to rest, and your mind travels through the day, the years or even right now I hope that you hear my voice saying I love you. Tuck yourself in with the silly songs we use to sing and remember I will always love you. There comes a time in life that we get the opportunity to have a real glimpse into our momma’s and their craziness, that’s much further down the line. Even then I will love you.
I can never express to you on paper the feelings I have inside each time I think of you, no matter the reason. I can never tell you how deep the cavern of my love is for you. There is nothing in this world more important than you, my child, you are the reason the sun rises, and the moon glows in the dark. You are the breeze on a day that is too hot to bear, the warm fuzzy blanket that makes the world seem kinder, and the breathe I take each time I open my eyes from slumber.
You are my world, the reason for my life and I LOVE YOU!
Love forever and always,
Written for my kids……..
Hey you, it’s me –
Yes I’m the voice you hear that no one else seems to notice, I know it’s hard to grasp that, but really, it’s me. Actually I’m you, just a bit older, well much older honestly. I wanted to share a few things with you, maybe a different perspective would be refreshing.
The first thing you need to know is to stop second guessing yourself – your first idea was fantastic. Remember that the more you second guess the more mistakes you make. Go with your gut, listen to your heart, and for pitty sakes try to hear the still small voice.
You should know that you don’t need some of those people as much as you think. In a few years their last name and parents money won’t matter. It’s okay if they don’t like you for who you are, be true to you, it pays off – I promise!
When you look in the mirror please try to see who is there, you are beautiful. There will come a day that you will have a mirror image that greets you every morning, just so you can look back and remember that I told you first just how beautiful you really are.
If it walks like a lion and roars like a lion it’s probably a lion, even if it swears it’s a sheep, it’s not a sheep. Walk away slowly and trust your inner voice. Lions stalk their prey, slowly and steadly, until they come in for the kill. Stay out of the lions den, their wounds leave life long scars.
Write and then write some more, your desire is a gift. You don’t know it now, but you do a good job and people will one day want to read anything you put on paper. Remember to be mindful of what you put on paper – write from your heart, not what the lions taunt you to write.
Once every 365 days we are allowed by society to dress up and be anyone or thing we want to. This one day we participate, without reproach from others, we live dreams and/or fantasies publicly.
What drives the mask we choose or lack there of? Is it what our inner child missed, what our inner self sees us as? Does it define what we want to be or go back to? Is it hidden fantasy, missed childhood, or just a cool costume?
Today as I looked in the mirror and staring back at me was a mime.
Mimes are to be seen and not heard, unnoticed by many. Anytime I’ve watched a mime, I’ve noticed almost all children will work very hard to get the mime to speak – although they care not what the mime has to say.
Once again I ponder my earlier thoughts – why a mime? I often feel like I’m seen and not heard, sometime blending in and not even being noticed.
If I went silent I wonder what the response would be. Would they become like small children begging to know what I’m thinking. Trying to find the answers hidden behind the white mask?
Maybe I need to change my approach.
…The Wizard Wonders….
The last 3 times I’ve attempted to post I’ve had to start over several times, some – like my last post, have simply been lost. The post sat and rolled saying publishing. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be shared, either way it created frustration. I blog to let my soul release what I can not express in my real world.
So – today this is in place of the post from my inner core. Very sad at best….
The Weary Wizard