Approximately 10 1/2 years ago, after too many shattered dreams, a broken heart and a wounded soul, I gave up on the idea that having someone next to me would bring me eternal bliss.
Please understand I was not designed as a go it alone kind of girl. I began planning a family before I knew what family planning was. I believed in fairy tales and happily ever afters. After all – what’s not to love, I have always worked real hard, made good money, and I have beautiful children.
Somewhere along that time I was convinced that no one wants a woman that works too many hours, and the money was never enough anyway and who would want a woman with 4 kids. I was told I was washed up, old, undesirable and destined to be alone – I believed EVERY word of that. Among the caious I did find a lil lions courage, but even a lions courage can shatter a heart. Time to move on.
This is where my story really begins. Here is where I made my decision. I decided to be own best friend and to care for me as I would a mate. Very painfully I learned to spend time with me, I even learned to like me, who knew. I became whole. By whole I mean I began to accept me for who I was and where I was. I learned that even with my flaws I was pretty ok. After all – I worked hard, made good money and had beautiful children.
When I found me, accepted me and learned to like me, when I truly let go of “needing someone to love me” – I was free. I could even go outside after dark by myself – yes I called 3 people before – just incase the boogy man got me, but I still did it. I had fun and I did what I wanted and needed to do for me. I was happy.
Plot twist – 9 years ago today in a secret yet public setting, I married a man I had know only a few months that set my world on fire.
When I met Brad he was a rock, as solid as the concrete I stood on everyday. He was confident, quiet, bold, he looked right through most people – except me – he looked into my soul and captured my very essence. He was encouraging, but firm. He had time for me but he cared for himself. He strived to build my confidence and he even stroked my ego a time or two. He believed in me, he supported me. He loved me where I was. He protected me from the dark side and helped me to quiet my demons. Brad encouraged me and reminded me soothe to my own soul.
9 years is the perfect start to that blissfull fairy tale, I had given up on. We have fun together, we like each other, we don’t always agree, but we never fight. We are always planning what’s next and chasing our dreams – what else is there.
I have been blessed so many times over in these 45 years of awakenings. The last 9 have been extra special. I am looking forward to the rest of forever with this rock I call my lover.
Bradley you are more than I hoped for, but all that I prayed for, you truly are my knight in shining armour. Happy Anniversary Poppy, I love you to the moon and back…
Wizards Fairy Tale 101